TRY HARD. TRY HARDER...NOT REALLY

Sometimes tarin knows, efforts have to be made, energies must be put into projects of all kinds, and things have to be planned, prepared and thought out, but then sometimes it’s really pointless to do this…

…Sometimes we put in effort, we use tonnes of energy, we start projects with these big ideas in our heads and we go for it great guns, and to be honest when it comes to some things, the truth is, that kind of thing is just too much, what we should be doing is we should be starting with small ideas and letting them grow naturally.

Years ago tarin wanted to be an awesome writer, he wanted people to like his work and for himself to be a regular blogger, but also to have a great website with all these F-A-B blogs and pictures that people enjoyed, he went a little crazy focusing on how awesome the site should look, how F-A-B the design should be, he wasn’t ever under the impression he would be some kinda superstar, even tarin himself isn’t that deluded, nor does he love himself in any way at all, to think he is worthy of such things., but he still hoped that he would gain a little following, that there would be some people who would like him and his writing and stuff, and by “little following” tarin means really little, like enough people to be able to keep up with, like ten or something stupid like that, maybe twenty people, tarin thought that his writings or whatever would have some meaning to someone else, maybe at least one someone else.

So tarin tried hard, too hard, he looked into all the crap professionals look into, he thought it would be so cool to have a “pro” website an awesome design, with all this SEO crap and tags and tabs and links and so much other rubbish besides, (stuff tarin doesn’t even understand for the most part) the thing is, after realising being a pro writer would never be a thing for him, which he realised like 15 - 20 years ago, he still wanted to try and have this pro site thing, and really all he was creating the whole time was a little personal site nothing pro at all.

All this time tarin was trying so hard in the hope that people would see something special about him, that humans would start to maybe like him, that they would visit his site and see he had a talent of some kind, so he stupidly tried all sorts of crap, sites with dozens of pages, crappily written articles, crappily made videos, and trying and failing dismally to use SEO and tags correctly and all that junk , he also looked into maybe learning to code stuff, but truthfully, tarin is not clever enough for that stuff and he knows it.

tarin realizes, now more than ever, that he is no entrepreneur, he is no writer of articles or stories, his poetry always has been and always would be (had he continued to write it ) kind of childish and lame. tarin is not a reviewer of games or books or manga or anime, nor is he an expert on politics or romance….and there are a whole load of other things that tarin is not, some he has tried to be others he hasn’t, which is why, when tarin has finished writing this blog, he will finish making adjustments to his site, he will remove some of the old blogs and start afresh .

Years ago tarin started with these huge ideas, and the idiotic thoughts that anything he wrote or photographed or shared or whatever, would actually matter to at least a small few, today he re-starts with the small idea that this is tarins website, the world through tarins eyes, and people are either gonna be interested or they ain’t, and while it’s true tarin is highly emotionally strung and he would love it if he mattered to some or at least someone, he will try not to let his emotions get in the way as they have done before. They probably will but he can try.

It may be that tarin does add other little bits to his site later, like links to his little shop things but in all honesty he really is thinking of dropping that, he may also add some of his vids he made for fun, but he won’t be trying too hard at all anymore, he’s just gonna roll with it and see where it goes, if it goes anywhere. tarin doesn’t look at this as quitting or giving up just as changing his direction and keeping it simple stupid rather than wanting to impress and inspire. tarin is just going to be tarin, with his own little personal website where he writes his feelings about stuff and where he shares stuff that he wants to share and is important for him to share.

Thank you for reading.

Take care

love from rin x

SOON ONLY THE RICH WILL STAY WARM.

We say that a lot don’t we? only the rich this and only the rich that, and sometimes when we say stuff like that, what we are really doing is feeling sorry for ourselves, or maybe we are a little bit jealous because someone has got something we want ourselves, a little bit of envy, the green eyed monster, it’s allowed, there’s no shame in it, and the ever wise around us would say “get a better job” or “work harder” or “get another job” or “manage your money better.” and you know what, sometimes they aren’t wrong…but this is not one of those times, this time they would be very wrong.

The cost of living has gone up dramatically over the years, tarin remembers when a can of most of the well known branded colas, Pepsi and Coca, here’s looking at you kids, was like 30 pence now some people charge up to one pound, and some people would say “well you don’t need coke, it’s a luxury.”, tarin knows there are some people that would disagree, meet a diabetic and ask them why and how.

But “luxuries” aside everyone has been going on about energy recently and how it costs so much, how some people could barely afford it before the price hike, tarin understands, tarin is on pre-paid meters and it can be a pain to keep up and it’s not good when you miscalculate and end up without gas and electric for a few days, for some people though it’s not miscalculation, it’s not bad budgeting, it’s lack of money, crappy pay, extortionate prices on practically everything, and a screwed up government along with a bunch of broken promises and greedy jerks.

tarin doesn’t understand. When solar panels became available to the public and stuff, we were told they would slash our energy bills to practically nothing, everything would be better, cheaper and we would be better off, that was years and years ago, if this is true, why are some people re-living the ice age? why is it the cost of energy is so much higher than when we were using coal almost everywhere all the time years ago? tarin just doesn’t get it. why is it in this new age, that people who are vulnerable have to wear half a dozen sweaters, joggers under their jeans and about a dozen pairs of socks just to get warm?

tarin has a little story for ya. When he was a very young teen, tarin had his own little pad in Lancashire, he had been in the care system and now was free, yay for independence, but the thing was even back then it was a bit of a struggle to get by and one day tarin ran out of electric. A person, who shall remain nameless, helped tarin out, they did something a little naughty, this person was a damned criminal, always stealing stereo’s and crap, they were a crook but a nice crook, they had a heart of gold and would help anyone…and not for a price….unlike the government…anyway this person did something with a piece of, tarin thinks it was that weird aerial lead thingy we used to use in the age just after stone, anyway they bypassed the system and tarin had free electric for about three days until he got some money to buy some.

Later tarin discovered lot’s of people in the area knew that little hack and used it, and tarin is wondering if that little hack can still be done today, because in all honesty if there is a hack that can give you some free electric then tarin thinks he wouldn’t blame anyone for using it…as long as they dont put their lives or others lives at risk doing it. But in all truth, if ever there was a time to screw over the system that provides energy, it is now, and everyone should be doing it…everyone…the more people screwing over the energy companies, the better, then maybe the con merchants will listen and cut prices. Now okay tarin is being naughty even suggesting this and he should really not be saying it, but you know what, as long as no one is hurt tarin doesn’t give a fuck.

The fact of the matter is, the title of tarins blog is not just some dream or nightmare that may or may not happen, the fact is it is already happening, more and more people are fighting to stay warm, and it is no exaggeration to say some of the more vulnerable are fighting for their lives and they are desperately in need of a save here, and tarin is desperate for them too. tarin feels empathy for some because of his own health issues, but for most he couldn’t even begin to understand how they feel, or what they are going through, thanks to his issues and his life experiences of working with elderly, when he was able to work, tarin is very aware of how bad it was years ago and how much more terrible it must be for them now, and who doesn’t have to deal with the problems these people face? the rich, the well to do, the government and their cronies, the energy providers, and the fact is they don’t give a damn, none of them care, so if you are kidding yourself that they do, please wake from your delusion.

So tarin is going to say it once again, if people were to start stealing energy he wouldn’t blame them in the slightest, he doesn’t think it’s the best idea, and wouldn’t encourage people to do it if it put theirs or others lives at risk, but he still wouldn’t blame them.

There are some people that would say “use your votes”, apparently there’s some voting thing happening soon, but, even though tarin is a labour supporter, he is honestly not sure votes would be enough, this is as much the energy companies greed as it is the governments’ inaction, this as much the fact cats in industry as it is the stupid tw*ts in parliament. We need more than votes, someone needs to rally the troops and to start a war against the government and the industrial fat cats. that’s just tarins thoughts though. maybe he is wrong, but he is getting frustrated, angry and upset by horror stories of people suffering because of this.

tarin thanks you for reading, take care of you. be safe, be well.

love tarin.