TARINS PET PEEVES, PET PEEVE TWO: "DEEPEST CONDOLENCES" ETC.

Having compassion for someone when someone close to them dies is not a bad thing, showing that person you feel for them and offering your support is no bad thing either, but it’s not a stage show either and that is where tarins pet peeve comes in.

tarin is at the age now he is seeing lots of death happen, and has seen a lot of it, but over the years one of the things that’s really annoyed him is people, people who didn’t know the deceased well, if they knew them at all, dramatically saying “My deepest condolences”. Why do some humans do this? What is it with you guys? Why so drammatical? if someone did that to tarin, tarin would be very pissed. If someone tarin loved died, and then someone else who barely knew them dramatically announced their “deepest condolences” tarin would poke them in their eye, because it feels like they are treating the death of that someone like a chance to show off their acting chops, or maybe they’re being dramatic because they want to show they are better than everyone else at being there for someone who’s loved one has passed on, treating it like a pissing contest.

Whatever their reasons, when people are over dramatical about it, it feels as fake as it looks and it’s actually more hurtful than anything. tarin has learned this over the years and stopped saying crap like “you have tarins condolences” and “tarin is sorry for your loss” and sticks to stuff like “tarin was sad to hear of the passing of such and such” or something like that.

As for the “Loss” thing, tarin finds it difficult sometimes to see the “Loss”, but very easy to see the blessings and the gains from having that person in your life, and while it is true, some people are taken by death at far too young an age, as tarin has written before, when someone you know or love dies, they always leave behind something of themselves. Life is not what you make it, that’s commplete crap, alot of your life is affected by the people who come into it, for better or worse, they leave a trace of themselves with you, so much so that if they saw you crying over them dying, you know exactly what they would say, or if they saw you making that apple pie they used to make, you know exactly whether they would be a backseat pie maker or shove you out the way tutting saying “here I’ll do it” or whether they’ll let you try and sit there smiling, you wondering what they’re grinning at only to realise all too late, you forgot the apples and for them to laugh with you, eating pastry and a drinking a cuppa.

tarin calls it “who DNA.” they aren’t with you walking by you as a ghost or spectre,(or at least tarin doesn’t think so), just a part of who they are, left inside your core, your soul, that, because it’s your soul, you carry that who DNA with you everywhere, this part of who they were, and how they touched your life, with you for always. so the question is, if this is the case, where’s the loss? what is there to be dramatic about? and why are people around you being dramatic or overly dramatic rather, when you feel so blessed to have so much of the who DNA of the person who you love that has passed, left you with so much of it that you have a pretty good idea how they would react or what they would say in certain situations? how is that not a gain in your life? and why do you need some twonk telling you the deceased is “walking by you forever” when you know you feel much more within, you don’t need some ghost without?

so yeah that’s tarins pet peeve number two, people who over dramatise “condolences” and the like for effect, especially when they don’t really know the person passed they are pretending to know. do you agree, or do you have a different outlook? tarin must be honest, this has come about because of certain people and their actions. Tarin can understand people feeling close to musicians and the like through their work, and getting a little worked up about it, but this is something other. have a good day.